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п»ї4 ways to connect with your children
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All of us parents crave those moments of connection with our children that make our hearts melt. For you, as a parent, it's critical to connect them. Also, remember that this connection is as essential for you as it is for them.
The parent-child connection is the foundation for strong, consistent parenting based on love and respect. It is also the reason children accept their parents' rules and advice. Children who feel strongly connected to their parents want to cooperate with them, which leads them to trust them to know what is in their best interest.
Raising a child and creating a happy family is about connection, not correction.
As children get older, however, it can be a little more difficult to establish that connection. The environment, the development of one's own personality and the pursuit of one's own interests can shake shaky relationships. Some parents are paralyzed by the fear of not succeeding, even when their children are still young. So what can you do to connect more and better with your children? We look at it below.
Talk to your children, but above all, listen to themThe easiest way to connect with your children is to talk to them. It's as simple as that. The key is not to forget that communication is a two-way street, where two people exchange information. While one speaks, the other listens and then the roles are exchanged to create feedback.
Do you feel that your children do not listen to you? Ask yourself then if you listen to them, if you listened to them and let them speak when they were younger, if you feel a genuine and authentic interest in what they have to say, if you allow them the freedom to express themselves. If you don't, start there, leading by example. Don't demand from them what you don't give them.
Don't forget that, in addition to listening to your children, you have to be able to remember what they say. It is not a matter of letting them talk, but of listening with interest and inviting them to continue talking by asking them questions about what they have just said. It is important for your child to know that you care about what they are saying, that you care about what is happening to them, even if what they are telling you seems the most absurd and simple thing in the world.
Show interest in their interestsSometimes talking doesn't work for every child. Your child may be on guard and not realize that you want to help him. In this case, a good idea might be to think about doing something else together. But not just anything, but something that your child shows a real interest in.
In general, showing interest in what your child is motivated by will allow you to have an alternative avenue of connection and keep them on your side. It's not just about respecting their likes and dislikes, but trying to share them, to get to know them. Give them the opportunity to unleash their passion for something with you, even if you don't like it or don't think it's right.
Share your passions with your childIt's not just your child who needs to open up to create a connection with their parents. If as a parent you're not willing to show them who you are and share your passions with them, you can't expect them to do the same.
Don't use the excuse that you need time for yourself, that this is your personal space. There will come a day when your child also needs his space and time and will not want to share it with you. If you don't let him in, don't expect him to let you in or talk to you about it, don't claim that he went outside looking for what he didn't find inside.
Don't use guilt as a weaponMaking your children feel guilty for not wanting to be with you is a cowardly strategy to control and dominate them. With guilt you will only achieve an apparent connection and that your child pretends what you are asking them to do. In addition, you will be telling them that generating guilt can be a valid means to an end. When do you really want them to learn this?
Playing the blame game will not allow you to get to know your children, as it will only show you the face you want to see.
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